Dads Spend quality time with your child

When my children were babies, I was literally the only person they’d go to if they needed help in any way.  My husband was a farmer so we didn’t see much of him, so they were always drawn to me.

Roll on another 10 years, and things are no different, except my husband is not farming anymore.  He works less hours and is home at weekends.  Will my children go to him for support…No! They still want me!

Now this week has been challenging as my daughter needs me more than the other as she’s been in hospital, and still waiting for a variety of results and ongoing treatment for an (at present) unknown and rare condition in a child.

My remaining children at home are 21, 16 and 13, and are still contacting me to ask for food, what’s for tea, who’s picking them up from college / work, where are their clothes, have I washed their work clothes!!!

Why do they do this when their dad is available and at home too?

Could it be that strong attachment bond that was made at birth, and in those early months or that it was me that was the main carer when they were little?  That close bonding when they were little is imperative for long term attachment. 

Does it mean that they haven’t bonded with their dad?  Absolutely not.  The bond they have with both their parents are strong, but in different ways.  They are so used to having me around, they automatically go to me.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because I want to encourage all parents to spend quality time with their babies when they are young, and if you are reading this and have older children, it’s never too late to start having that quality time with your children.

My older children are now spending more time with their dad, and enjoying hobbies together, like fishing, and farming.  They are now reinforcing their bonds together by choosing to spend time with him.

When I did my dissertation, I looked at the needs of dads, and found that although mum initially spends the majority of time with the baby, dad also wants and needs to spend quality time with their child.  That isn’t just the fun stuff, it’s the caregiving stuff too that they need to engage in.  There is lots of evidence to say how much this positively improves bonding, attachment, emotional and cognitive development in the child, and he more they can do the better.

It’s for this reason, I set up my ‘dads only stay and play’ sessions on a sat morning. The events are getting really popular now for dads to spend quality time with their child, with no pressure to do anything they don’t want to.  The sessions are laid back and have age appropriate craft activities set out for them.  When I initially set up the group, we had BBC news coverage and lots of social media coverage too. 

Since covid hit, we stopped running the sessions until safe to do so, and now I run them alongside Dangerous Dads network and are lottery funded, so are currently able to run them free of charge whilst funding is still available.  This month we were fully booked and already have bookings for next month.

The group is available to book via my facebook group

or email

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.